those babies just did an extension

SOUTHERN EXTREME
THAT'S WHO WE ARE
THE BEST OF THE BEST
(clap, clap)
BY FAR!

i know those words not from the tiny little girls cheering them from the competition mat, but from the mothers loudly screaming them from the stands in the oman arena. complete with blowhorns.

i wanted to die. i settled for gripping courtney's hand and whispering to my father, "intense and inappropriate."

it was my little sister's (read: alexis, not courtney) cheerleading competition. she competed in the 8 and under group. these were the tiny baby ones. each under 3 feet tall (minus lex who is almost as tall as i am), turning somersaults and backhandsprings, more makeup than i wore to prom, more glitter than could possibly be necessary around each eye, hair curled within an inch of its life... yeesh. one grouped had dyed their hair green. all of 'em, hopped up on competition. they were gonna beat those other infant girls, damnit! "they got nothing on us," said my stepmother (in her bejeweled "southern extreme" shirt, of course) of the toddlers who went before my sister. you are an adult - stop talking shit about the rival 6 yr olds.

i don't want to take away from the level of talent most of these girls have - they were doing things that i could never do. and i'm glad they're having fun. but when they get second place and the parents cannot hide their disappointment? no, sir, that's not ok.

nor do i want to err in the opposite direction where everyone wins exactly the same. competition is good and healthy, but it should not reach a level of intesity that makes the average person cringe. watching a documentary on "pageant moms" is the only time i should feel this way, and the only place that people like this should exist. oh, but no, they are alive and well in jackson, tn.